On August 4th, 2009, 48 year old George Sodini walked into an aerobics class at the LA Fitness Centre in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, turned off the lights and fired 52 shots into the dark. A horrific mass shooting that killed three women and injured nine others, George Sodini is often referred to as the original incel killer.
George Alfred Sodini was born on September 30th, 1960. He was a systems analyst at a law firm, K&L Gates where he worked since 1999. He lived in PIttsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Sodini appeared to be a rather lonely man. He had an online blog where he stated he was never married and hadn’t had a girlfriend since 1984. It seemed that George Sodini wanted to find love. He attended a three day seminar event in Los Angeles, California, run by author and self-described dating expert R. Don Steele. The seminar was to help men be more appealing to women. Erin Micklow worked at the event and described Sodini as “The most studious in the workshops.” and said that “He was really, really quiet. He took a lot of notes.” She also said that by the end of the seminar he was “Pretty much just as nervous.” as he had been at the start. A YouTube video of Sodini’s showed him giving a tour of his house. In that particular video he seems slightly nervous but there was nothing to indicate a hatred towards women. His neighbours described him as reclusive, and although he used to make small talk, in the years leading up to the shooting, he stopped talking to them altogether.
On Tuesday 4th August, 2009, at 11am, George Sodini went to the LA Fitness Centre in Pittsburgh before leaving again. He then returned briefly at 7:40pm before leaving again. He made a phone call, apparently to his mother. He was distraught but made no mention of his plans. At 7:56pm he entered the gym for the last time. He made his way to the ‘Latin Impact’ dance class with four handguns, turned off the lights, and began shooting. Nine women were injured and sadly three women were killed; 46-year-old Heidi Overmier, 39-year-old Jody Billingsley, and 49-year-old Elizabeth Gannon. George Sodini then turned the gun on himself, taking his own life. Investigators found two typed notes in Sodini’s bag at the scene, both stating his frustrations he had with women.
Around a week before the shooting, George Sodini was questioned by police for pulling out a grenade on a bus. At the time, police couldn’t confirm it was him, but they found writings in his home after his death that referenced the situation.
After the shooting, a blog that George Sodini had been writing in the nine months leading up to the event was uncovered. He had listed his own D.O.D as 4th August.
The most recent blog post read:
“Why do this?? To young girls? Just read below. I kept a running log that includes my thoughts and actions, after I saw this project was going to drag on.
November 5, 2008:
Planned to do this in the summer but figure to stick around to see the election outcome. This particular one got so much attention and I was just curious. Not like I gave a flying **** who won, since this exit plan was already planned. Good luck to Obama!… Here it is: every black man should get a young white girl hoe to hone up on. Kinda a reverse indentured servitude thing. Long ago, many an older white male landowner had a young negro wench girl for his desires. Bout’ time tables are turned on that ****. Besides, dem young white hoez dig da bruthrs!…
December 22, 2008:
Time is moving along. Planned to have this done already. I will just keep a running log here as time passes. Many of the young girls here look so beautiful as to not be human, very edible…
December 24, 2008:
Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with ****** was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29). No ****. Over eighteen years ago. And did it maybe only 50-75 times in my life. Getting to think that a woman now would just, uh, get in the way of things. Isolated… Invited to a party on Christmas day tomorrow. Seems about 15-20 people will actually show. I like her parties; I can meet new people and talk. Got the next 8 days off. I should have exit plan done and practiced by then. I know nothing will change, no matter how hard I try or what goals I set.
December 28, 2008:
Glad I stayed around. All these days off are great. I will shoot for Tuesday, January 6, 2009, at maybe 8:15. I have list of to-do items to make.
December 29, 2008:
Just got back from tanning, been doing this for a while. No gym today, my elbow is sore again. I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne – yet 30 million women rejected me – over an 18 or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough guesstimate of how many desirable single women there are. A man needs a woman for confidence. He gets a boost on the job, career, with other men, and everywhere else when he knows inside he has someone to spend the night with and who is also a friend. This type of life I see is a closed world with me specifically and totally excluded. Every other guy does this successfully to a degree. Flying solo for many years is a destroyer. Yet many people say I am easy to get along with etc. Looking back, I owe nothing to desirable females who ask for anything, except for basic courtesy – usually. Looking back over everything, what bothers me most is the inability to work towards whatever change I choose.
December 30, 2008:
While driving I radio surfed to a talk show. The caller was a 30ish black man who was describing the dispare in certain black communities. According to him, life is cheap there because you are going to die anyway when you get old. It is the quality of life that is important, he said. If you know the past 40 years were crappy, why live another 30 crappy years then die?… But it was interesting, and useful point for me to hear.
December 31, 2008:
My anger and rage is largely gone since I began lifting weights. Lifting drains me but I still have energy. Somebody else suggested running but that did not help me. I guess strength exercise is necessary for a man. So I just learned that now at 48. Maybe 30 years later than I would have liked. My dad never (not once) talked to me or asked about my life’s details and tell me what he knew. He was just a useless sperm donor. Don’t know why, find it fun talking to young kids when I visit someone. Brother was actually counter-productive and would try to embarase me or discourage my efferts when pursuing things, esp girls early on (teen years). Useless bully. Result is I am learning basics by trail and error in my 40s, followed by discuragement. Seems odd, but that’s true. Writing all this is helping me justify my plan and to see the futility of continuing. To embarassed to tell anyone this, at almost 50 on is expected to just know these things.
I hope it doesn’t snow on Tuesday. Just thought of that. The crowd will be thin so I would postpone…
January 5, 2009:
Was at the gym to lift. Very crowded. Tomorrow should be good. There is a woman there that gives me a certain look every time I am there. I decided to walk over and make a comment about the crowds but she left when I finished the exercise. Better that I do not get sidetracked from tomorrow’s plan anyways. Life is just playing games. One or two dates with her, then the end. No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same. Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone. Young women were brutal when I was younger, now they aren’t as much. Probably because they just see me just as another old man.
I see twenty something couples everywhere. I see a twenty something guy with a nice twentyish young woman. I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone? I will just work, come home, eat, maybe do something, then go to bed (alone) for the next day of the same thing. This is the Auschwitz Syndrome, to be in serious pain so long one thinks it is normal. I cannot wait for tomorrow!
January 6, 2009:
I can do this. Leaving work today, I felt like a zombie – just going through the motions. Get on the bus, get the car, drive home….. My mind is screwed up anymore, I can’t concentrate at work or think at all.
This log is not detailed. It is only for confidence to do this. The future holds even less than what I have today.
It is 6:40pm, about an hour and a half to go. God have mercy. I wish life could be better for all and the crazy world can somehow run smoother. I wish I had answers. Bye.
It is 8:45pm: I chickened out! ****! I brought the loaded guns, everything. Hell!
April 24, 2009:
Early last month, we had our second general layoff. I survived. First one was in November. When I began 10 years ago, that used to be a nice place to work…. Most people there are OK and I would never have a shoot ‘em up there. They paid me for 10 years, so far!
I predict I won’t survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to continue. Right now life is bearable and I can get by indefinitely. Something bad must happen. The paycheck is all I have left. The future holds nothing for me. Twenty five years of nothing fun. I never even spent one weekend with a girl in my life, even at my own place. Also unlikely to find another similar job. I guess then is when I take care of things. I don’t have kids, close friends or anything. Just me here. If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.
I enjoy writing these entries, I have no plans to go back and edit or even read most stuff already written. If you get bored, just click that ‘X’ at the top, right corner of your browser. Bye.
May 4, 2009:
I was so eager to do this last year. The big problem on my mind now is that my job will end soon… I estimate maybe a month. I am not ready for the job market…
The problem is I feel too good now to do this but too bad to enjoy life. I know I will never enjoy life. This is an over 30 year trend. Some people are happy, some are miserable. It is difficult to live almost continuously feeling an undercurrent of fear, worry, disappointment and helplessness. I can talk and joke around and sound happy but under it all is something different that seems unchangeable and a permanent part of my being. I need to realize the details of what I never accomplished in life and to be convinced the future is merely a continuation of the past – WHICH IT ALWAYS has been. I am making a list of items that will provide motivation to do the exit plan, it won’t be published. I always had hope that maybe things will improve especially if I make big attempts to change my life. I made many big changes in the past two years but everything is still the same. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows.
What is it like to be dead? I always think I am forgetting something, that’s one reason I postponed. Similar to when you leave to get in your car to go somewhere – you hesitate with a thought: “What am I forgetting?”. In this case, I cannot make a return trip!
I like to write and talk. Ironic because I haven’t met anybody recently (past 30 years) who I want to be close friends with OR who want to be friends with me. I was always open to suggestions to what I am doing wrong, no brother or father (mine are useless) or close friend to nudge me and give it bluntly yet tactfully WTF am I doing wrong. A personal coach or someone who knows what he is doing would be perfect. Money is highly secondary for a solution.
May 5, 2009:
To pull the exit plan off, it popped into my mind to just use some booze. I want to do this just before I get laid off, for reasons not worth mentioning but don’t seem to have the balls. After the gym, I stopped and got a fifth of vodka and a small bottle of Jack Daniel’s. I haven’t had a drink since September 1, 1988, just over 20 years. It doesn’t matter now, I need to use it to take the edge off of carrying out the exit plan…
The list idea yesterday is working. I carry it in my wallet and add to it. I am feeling to good to do carry this out, but too bad to enjoy ANYTHING. My life’s dilema.
May 18, 2009:
I actually had a date today. It was with a woman I met on the bus in March. We got together at ______ for lunch. The last date for me was May 1, 2008. Women just don’t like me. There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me attractive. I am looking at The List I made from my May 4th idea. I forgot about that for several days. That tells me where I stand. These problems have gotten worse over a 30 year period. I need to expect nothing from me or other people. All through the years I thought we had the ability to change ourselves – I guess that is incorrect. Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else.
I no longer have any expectations of myself. I have no options because I cannot work towards and achieve the smallest goals. That is, ABOVE ALL, what bothers me the most. Not to be able to work towards what I want in my life. I believe I am deserve that. I read recently it is called “self efficacy” but who knows. Is that more psychobabble?
May 25, 2009:
I was invited to a picnic, and I went. An older woman there, out of the blue, asked if I liked high school. Then quickly asked if I was picked on very much. Interesting why she would ask that. But, thanks, I already know what the problem is, but a solution eludes me.
May 29, 2009:
Another lonely friday night, I’m done. This is too much.
June 2, 2009:
Some people I was talking with believed I date a lot and get around with women. They think this because I showed an email I got from a hot woman to the department gossip, but it didn’t work out. All this is funny. Actually, I haven’t had sex since I was 29 years old, 19 years ago. That’s true.
June 5, 2009:
I was reading several posts on different forums and it seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend. So, err, after a month of that, this little hoe has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason. Thanks for nada. _____! Bye.
July 20, 2009:
Been a long time since last write. Everything still sucks. But I got a promotion and a raise, even in this ____ Obama economy. No more grunt programming. Go figure! New boss is great. He tactfully says when you did something wrong or compliments on good things. Never confused with him. But that is NOT what I want in life. I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. Last time I slept all night with a girlfriend it was 1982. Proof I am a total malfunction. Girls and women don’t even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something BLATANTLY wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is. Every person just wants to be ___ nice and say nice things to me. Flattery. Oh yeah, I am sure you can get a date anytime. You look good, etc. ____.
Awwww, wait. I can just start being self-righteous and say I live a good, clean life. I am holy, that’s all _____ stuff. Hear that you _____ : I am Just Good!
July 23, 2009:
Wow!!
I just looked out my front window and saw a beautiful college-age girl leave _____ house, _____. I guess he got a good lay today. College girls are hoez. I masturbate. Frequently. He is about 45 years old. She was a long haired, hot little hottie with a beautiful bod. I masturbate. Frequently. Some were simply meant to walk a lonely path in life. I don’t usually look out, but just happened to notice. Holy ____. I have masturbated since age 13. Thanks, mum and brother (by blood alone). And dad, old man, for TOTALLY ignoring me through the years. All of you DEEPLY helped me be this way.
I wish I can go back to 1975 and fix things. Awe, that won’t work, big BULLY BROTHER would assert his bullshit. He was twice my size. He never messed with guys bigger than 5’10, or so. He is a _____ at heart. Remember ______ is my brother (we have common parents. That’s all) is still a BOSS. Repetition only for emphasis. HE IS ONLY A BULLY, even at 50ish! Never forget that! Because he exudes confidence, People believe _____ if delivered WITH CONFIDENCE. Get it??
I don’t know where I am going with this. I am getting tired, feels good to write and get it all out.
On still another thought, I had 20+ years of sobriety and achieved nothing about friendships, girlfriends, guys etc. Zilch. What a waste.
Bye, for today.
August 2, 2009:
The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many other areas. Everything stays the same regardless of the effort I put in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for about the past 30 years, I have not.
August 3, 2009:
I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow the practice my routine and make sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven’t had a drink since Friday about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day.
Unfortunately I talked to my neighbor today, who is very positive and upbeat. I need to remain focused and absorbed COMPLETELY. Last time I tried this, in January, I chickened out. Lets see how this new approach works.
Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them.
I will try not to add anymore entries because this computer clicking distracts me.
Also, any of the “Practice Papers” left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be embarased, because, well, I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others.
Clearly from his blog posts we can see that George Sodini was troubled. His blog entries are steeped in sadness and loneliness. Sodini saw himself as being unsuccessful in relationships which made him angry and bitter. His misplaced anger towards women had chilling consequences. He chose to carry out a senseless act, killing three innocent women.
Sources:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/aug/05/fitness-centre-shooting-pennsylvania
